Trials of a Single Dad.

Ok, I'm not really single.   On Feb 5th, 2014, Rae started bleeding WAY too much for being around 28 weeks pregnant.   On Feb  10th we visited Parinatology and were told that Rae has Placenta Previa, as well as Placenta Accreta.
  For those who don't know, an accreta is when the placenta attacks the uterin wall, and embeds itself there.  Chances of successfully separating the placenta completely are slim to none.  The recommended protocol is a Cesarian section by the OB team, then the Oncology team comes and performs a hysterectomy.
  We were crushed.  Although we had already talked about our family being complete....its different to be told that the most healthy thing will end  your childbearing years.  The Dr. sent us home with orders for Modified Bed rest for Rae, and that should anything happen then she needs to get to University Hospital in Salt Lake as fast as she can.  At a bare minimum we are to go back to Perinatology on the 10th of March and likely admitted to University Hospital (a level 1 trauma hospital) that week. We went home with a LOT on our minds.
 Of course the first thing we do is turn to Google...to find out what we can about what we're dealing with, and what we find is mostly....scary.  And for the most part, stories posted online are worst-case scenarios and horror stories.  So...we didnt sleep that well, but life MUST go on.
  On Feb 23rd at 4:00am, she began to bleed again.  With the quick response of family to come care for my sleeping children, we rushed to Salt Lake and were taken to Labor and Delivery where they placed 2 IVs, took stacks of blood samples and admitted her for an extended stay.

  So, Rae tries to settle in, and regrets not being able to see her kids before we went to SLC, and tries to get comfortable.  After much hustle and bustle, she's stable and they move us to anti-pardom (which I've NEVER heard of before) for the duration.

  Here's the struggle.  Though Rae is stable, she can't come home (and thats for the best...the longer we can keep our little boy in, the more healthy he will be when he arrives).  Me, I'm working full time in Salt Lake, and my children are 5 1/2, 4, and 18 months. The struggle will be to find care for our children (who can take my son to school, and home again) and maybe even help with light housework.  We knew this was coming since our first Perinatology appointment so we had been looking but the options we found either didn't feel right, or were outside of our budget.
  The blessing for us came in the form of Marcy.  She's an old friend of mine with whom we had spoken, but she wasn't able to help.  The night before Rae started bleeding again, Marcy sent me a text message saying that it would work out, but that she wouldnt be available until March.

  Well, between my wife's mother, aunt, and cousin we have the kids pretty well cared for, for the rest of Feb. and Marcy will take over in March.  We've got a lot on our plates, but I think that things are going forward.  My children feel the stress of it and miss mom...and are trying to adjust to a new set of circumstances.  I'm trying to adjust and it honestly feels like the burden has grown MUCH heavier.  The Ward we belong to (congregation) has been SO great about proving meals for us.  I honestly don't know how I could work full time, come home, cook dinner, do homework, read with kids, get them to bed, clean the house, do the laundry, do the dishes, FOLD the laundry (I HATE FOLDING) and still survive.

  It's tough..and funny enough, paradoxical...because Rae is bored out of her mind, confined to her room at the hospital (for the most part) and I'm going crazy trying to keep up with the demands of family and working.

  I guess in the end....I'd like to salute the single parents out there.  You're amazing.  When this is over and I have my wife back....bring your kids over so you can take a break because I TOTALLY get you a little more.   I cant' say that I fully understand, because I get to talk to my spouse whenever I want on the phone, and visit her, and know that she'll be home at some point.  You're great!  Thanks for doing a tough, TOUGH job.

  Lastly, I had a talk with my friend Dale last night and something he said hit home with me too.  I'm growing a LOT closer to my children through it all.  I'm seeing lots of small things in their personalities that I've missed.  I'm also seeing how much more time I need to spend with them.  I've got a lot to learn, I'm grateful for the chance to learn it.   I'm grateful for great neighbors, and ward members who care and are willing to lend a hand.  I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I'm grateful for the Priesthood of God, and His Son, and the Power to bless those who need it.

I'm going to blog about our experience, some to share, and some to remember.