Monday, January 7, 2013

New Years Resolutions/Goals:

Man, everyone is talking about these right now.  If you are a regular gym goer, then you know that a bunch of people have decided to lose weight...you also know that you only need to wait a few more weeks so that you can have your favorite machine back, because all the posers will quit coming.


Lets talk about goals.

I think that if I were to go and ask any group  of people if they had goals, the nearly unanimous answer would be yes.

Now lets talk about those goals.

People will fall into three categories and we'll  talk about each one.

Group 1:  You have a mental list of the things you want to accomplish.  Good job!  You have a valid fantasy, and while you thing thoughts about your goals..there are whole groups of people who have thoughts of being skinny, rich and with fulfilling relationships ...they are all in controlled environments and often under heavy medications.  Sorry to offend, but you dont actually have goals, you have Dreams and Fantasies.  Its a start.

Group 2:  You have written your goals down...a list of 10 or so things you'd like to see happen this year..and thats it.  Awesome.  Writing your goals down is important.  It starts your brain on its path to get them done.  However, if its just a list, there is only ONE way to get them accomplished.  This secret I give you to, and it will happen without fail. 
  Take your list of Goals.  Put them in an envelope and seal it and date it.  Then address it to:
Santa Claus
North Pole


Group 3:  The real goal setters.  Goals are just PART of the process.  They are the target result....but without a plan you wont get anywhere.  You need to give your mind specific instructions, give yourself specific tasks.  If you want to make something happen, then you must plan it.  I wish that people would stop using words like 'Goals' and substitute in the word 'Plans'.  

In order to reach your goals you have to PLAN, TAKE ACTION, and TRACK progress.  

Planning.  Remember that Reticular activator I mentioned last time?  It plays a HUGE role here.  As you make your plans, you are giving your mind subconscious queues to fill...to watch for opportunities and experiences that can make that step in your plan happen.  If you fail to make a plan then you have not even given yourself a chance to succeed because you have not instructed yourself on any level of how to get to where you were going.  If I told 99% of you to drive from where you are to Paris, TN without using any kind of map or GPS, you would fail...because you have NO idea how to get there.

Taking Action: The difference between the top 20% in whatever area you have goals in, and the bottom 80% is that the top 20% are taking action, even though they may hate it too.  
  As important as taking action is, its also important to track your progress.  Its the barometer that lets you know if you are on the right track, the compass that keeps you pointed.  It also provides you with small victories to celebrate along the way to fight discouragement.  

Tracking:  The most common metaphor for this is an aircraft.  They don't actually fly in straight lines...they're ALWAYS off course.  Winds, weather, lots of things happen...the pilots and the aircraft itself checks its current location and where its supposed to be and it corrects.  If you don't track where you are then you're going to be way off course...and probably surprised that you didn't end up where you thought you were going.


Lets take a look at an example. 
  Years ago, a friend of mine asked me to drive from Utah, to Paris, TN to pick up a boat he had purchased off of eBay.  He was going to pay me for my time, gas, hotels, food, etc.  I had nothing better to do so I accepted.  (Goal: Paris, TN)

Now, I didnt just think about this goal...I had to make  a plan.  I looked at the mileage, I got a map, I checked hotels and places to stay along the route.  Because i was getting a fixed rate, I checked for the most inexpensive places to stay along the way.  (Plan...made)

Then I drove. I knew the mileage between stops so I watched my odometer.  Once I got past Denver, I was in completely new territory, so checked in on my map, watched the highway numbers and looked for the junctions I needed to change course.  (Tracked progress)


I think a major short fall for some people happens here.  You MUST be flexible on your path.  In Kentucky, my truck broke down.  Stupid automatic 4x4 would just shift into gear..at 80+mph  It was not only annoying, but very scary...and the stupid thing wouldnt come OUT of 4 High...which was killing my drivetrain, making me drive more slowly, and laying waste to my mileage.  So I stopped, got my tools out, and removed the front driveline of my truck...I unplugged the computer in the pass. side kick panel, and I removed the motor that shifted the transfer case.  Then I fitted an adjustible wrench to the shift shaft of the transfer case, put the truck in 2 wheel drive...and continued on my path.  I lost about a days worth of travel, but I was back on the road..the problem was overcome for now and I would look into fixing it more completely later. 

Life is not a fixed path.  Sometimes things happen and rather than give up and die in KY, I just dealt with it.  I could have had any number of obstacles.  Road closures, construction, weather...anything could have happened and I would have had to adjust accordingly.  

Our goals are the same way.  We have to first have a goal, then we have to plan and act, but we then need to be flexible...one point I wont go too deeply into, is that the goal I set was reachable.  I gave myself 10 days to drive to KY and back.  There is NO way I could have done it in 5 days...and I probably could have done it faster..but the point is, my goal was realistic and reachable.

Keep up the good work!  We'll see you in a week or two.

-Monte

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Jan 1st, 2013.  We close another year and I have the following advice:

The year was full of events.  Some you would call good, some you would call bad.  I submit to you that if you can learn this one lesson, you can free yourself from the life you thought you were stuck with.  That lesson is this:

Events are just events.  They have no values, no morals and no meaning.  They have only the meaning that YOU assign to them.  Don't feel bad, its what you were programmed to do.  All your life you have been programmed to know the right answer, raise your hand, do as you were told and interpret everything that came your way.  This has made you a reactionary person.

Given that the only meaning an event has, is the meaning YOU give it...isn't it time for you to assign values that help you grow, and not hold you back?

Remember...a brick is a brick...it can build an orphanage or be thrown through a window.  The brick has no meaning...you got a flat tire....thats it...there is no 'and....' to complete the sentence.

Here's the rub.  Something happened to you when you were younger...and THAT event made you THINK or BELIEVE something about that event and events like it....now and forever...that event will be reacted to by YOU because of something that happened WAY back in time.  Silly, that you're continuing to relive your past each time a new event happens to you...isn't it?  Does it start to make sense why you feel like your life never changes and you're stuck in a RUT?  Well...guess what...its YOUR fault.  STOP!  Every moment is an event, and YOU have the POWER to assign whatever meaning to it that you want.....to grow, to prosper, to reach your dreams.

I'll end this blog with one other bit.  This year you want something...lets say your goal is to have more intimacy in your relationship.... GUESS WHAT!?!  You cant persue it.  The things you want most in life cannot be persued like a target.....your goals are not targets, they are the arrows.  To HAVE more intimacy in your life, you need to BE more intimate and intimacy will find you.  To have more happiness in life you need to BE more happy where you are, with what you have, and HAPPINESS will find you....YOU are the target.  So this year, don't ask yourself what you need to DO to reach your goals...ask instead what you need to BE so your goals can find you.

Until next time,
 -Monte